Sometime back I wrote a post titled the same as this one. But this time I want to look at this quote in a different light.
“Perception IS Reality” I have found myself saying this to my team members over the past few weeks and again today it lept into my mind as I watched a video on my friend, colleague, and frequent co-conspirator Jason Thompson’s blog about living up to the Cowboy Code. If you’ve not seen the video or read the code, go do that now. I’ll wait.
The section of the code that spurred Jason to post the video was #6 When you make a promise keep it. Seems pretty simple, but how often have you been let down by someone who did not keep their promise. How often have you let down others when you did not keep a promise. I have been on both sides of this and I know the shame and disappointment I have felt when letting others down so it still stuns me how easy this seems to be for others to do and still sleep at night. When I have let others down I do my best to make it up to them. You want to feel low? Make a promise to your 8 year old son, and then not be able to come through. It sucks.
But what sets people apart is wether or not this is a pattern or some random anomaly that could not be avoided. When you let down your loved ones or friends they already know if this is part of your character or not. When you do this to colleagues, customers, employers and the likes they like most humans will assume this is how you are all the time. Their perception of you becomes the reality of you are perceived. Let me say that again. Their perception of you IS now your reality.
“Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.” – Abe Lincoln
When you are in a dense forrest surrounded by thousands of trees your shadow is less important as there are so many overlapping it is hard to see a single issue. When you are one of a few cacti in the middle of a desert your shadow is long, clear, and easy to pick out. And unlike Peter Pan, your shadow, your reputation, your new reality will always be right there. Casting doubt over everything you do.
Perception IS Reality.
“If once you forfeit the confidence of your fellow-citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem” . -Abe Lincoln.
Perception IS Reality. It was true 200 years ago, it was true 2000 years ago, it will still be true tomorrow. Where will your shadow be tomorrow? What is the reality you are projecting to the world? Does it reveal your true self?
Perception IS reality.
8 thoughts on “Perception is Reality….revisited.”
Great blog Rudi. This is actually my first time visiting this site. I have a strong belief in what Jason is standing up for. Unfortunately, the father and the 8 year old scenario is all too familiar with me. I was the 8 year old. Not to start a therapy session here, but this is why I feel as strongly as Jason does about this. And it’s absolutely true what you are saying about perception of others. We don’t know each other in work settings anymore than what our resume reads or how we *may* have “portrayed” ourselves in an interview. This is where I also get frustrated with people (colleagues), is when they pretend. Why is that necessary? I understand that some people just don’t know any other way, and are trying to uphold some sort of image or perhaps because they have been doing it all their life. Who knows and who cares. It still pisses me off. Be yourself! If you make a mistake, own it and learn from it. Move on. Don’t stay silent in a room full of people during a presentation or be afraid to answer a question with the wrong answer if you sincerely think you have the right one! That’s how you learn. That was my little rant. 🙂
I’ll finish with something I will never forget about my interview to become an Analyst back when I worked with a computer component distributor a whole 3 years ago! My new manager (I got the job, in case that wasn’t obvious!) said the one thing one of the Directors on the panel liked about me was that, when she asked me how I would handle a specific scenario, I said “I don’t know”. Of course with the work ethic I’m so proud of, I followed up with, “but I can figure it out. I know the right people to talk to and will find an answer for you”. She loved this and that’s what stuck with her and gave her the confidence in me that she needed. She liked that I didn’t have an answer for everything. I wasn’t afraid to just be honest. I know it should be a given, but one of the things I didn’t see in the cowboy code was around honesty. I know. It’s sad that we sometimes have to ask for these things, bu I also think that if you are going to throw around words like that or ‘integrity’ for example that it should be heavily practiced and not as scarce as Mike’s hard lemonade in an old-style saloon. Am I right? Ok, now I’m ranting.
Finally, finally, this stuff truly is interesting to me. I’m reading 7 habits of highly effective people and the character vs. personality ethic rings so true today. If you haven’t read it or attend his course, I would recommend it to anyone reading this.
Stewart,
Thanks for the comments. I have read the 7 habits stuff before, but it has been a while and I could use a refresher.
-Rudi
Rudi, I think this is very true with clients. The last thing you want is a negative perception from clients. Reflects badly on the company and puts in danger repeat business.
I think that when it comes to coworkers and direct reports though, this can be a slippery slope. Yes, it sucks when someone screws up. It sucks when someone is not driven as much as you are. My concern here is that allowing negative perceptions become the reality (especially using that phrase with coworkers) will create a culture of fear. Then everything turns into CYA, politics start to run rampant and bureaucracy reins.
It is hard to be the guy that is both people oriented (friendly) and driven (I tend to be more on the friendly side than I should). Driven is great because it gets things done and the clients are happy, but often fear sets in and destroys innovation in the long term because people are afraid to take risks. Friendly is just plain bad because people screw up and no consequences are put in place. Combining the two is optimal, but very difficult (I suck at it).
I’m not sure what spurred the blog post, but if it was a co worker or direct report be sure to avoid a culture of fear. I like what you guys are building, I like the cowboy code of ethics. “Cowboy” feels a bit maverick and willing to take risks, I like that. A culture of fear though tends to inhibit that risk taking. It can get things done in the short term, but in the long term can destroy what you worked so hard to build.
This is just an opinion, and I’ve been wrong many times before. Just felt like I had to put it out there because I have seen fear build inside an organization and the affects that come from it.
Thanks.
Ryan,
Valid points. It is a struggle to combine the driven and friendly. Rest assured this was not a current or past coworker that inspired this post, more an overall commentary on the lack of forethought on the actions of some people these days.
-Rudi
Great comment, Ryan. As I read Rudi’s post, I don’t read anywhere in there where it is about screw ups or making mistakes. We all do that, every single day. And those of us who push things to the limit, make more than anyone else. Mistakes make us who we are. The post to me is about how we live and the principles we subscribe to that we will not break.
I never expect perfection but I do expect myself and everyone I work with to play every day like a champion. Any fear that is created, is created from personal fear, but that is what separates champions from ordinary players. In the most pressure packed situations, the greatest among us take that fear in the pit of our stomach and transform it into greatness. Those that will always be average, take that fear and crawl into a hole.
“Regardless of the won-loss record, regardless of the problems you have, when you walk out on that field you have an obligation to your teammates and the fans to play to the best of your ability – to play like a champion and to think like a champion.” -Lou Holtz
So so true and uncannily timely for me! I especially appreciated your description if situations where behavior is an anomaly or sign of character. I believe honesty and open communication go a long way as one of the commenters mentioned.
Regarding the comment surrounding fear…what if, as employers, we aren’t so concerned with how the client (internal or external) perceives us? Instead, we could constantly strive to truly be the reality of what we want to deliver to our clients, honest, hard working, innovative, efficient, and genuine. If those traits are encouraged and incented, fear should subside and ultimately more business/promotions or whatever the goal, will come to fruition. I know, easier said than done, but food for thought :). Great post!